…AND WHY I’VE SUCKED AT IT FOR SO LONG!
In a recent post, I divulged why I’ve sucked at being (more specifically, sucked at enjoying being) in the present moment for so many years of my life. After countless times of my husband relentlessly begging me to “be present” and much painful soul searching, I’ve realized this very simple truth that I consider to be pretty universal. The two reasons behind my inability to be in and enjoy the present moment were unpacked baggage about my past and fears about my future. I spent so much time subconsciously living burdened by the ghost of my past self and the worry of not becoming the future self I aspired to be that I’d consistently get caught being an unavailable and unhappy version of me in the present day.
So, let’s unpack that cold, hard truth and identify some ways to be present, stay present, and enjoy it, shall we? And yes, the following subtitles are an homage to A Christmas Carol because it may be January but I’m still very much for Christmas nostalgia.
The Ghost of Life Past
This should be considered as lives past because we evolve so much as people over time and experience life as several versions of ourselves throughout it. There were two big ghosts for me to confront and make peace with. A perceived lack of support from my family and my teenage dreams coming true. There were different milestone markers of when and how these events affected me etched in my memory. It’s funny because while we’re all for celebrating the highs in life as they happen, when we look back, the hardships can be the things we hang on to and shape us the most. Sometimes, even the highs get skewed into hardships in our memory as time goes on.
We all know the adage that “the things we’ve done or experienced in our past made us who we are today” but I want to suggest taking that one step further.
I always looked at the hardships as moments that fortified who I was as a person and kept trucking on without giving them the time and emotion they deserved. I always looked at the highs as things that detracted from who I was in my life presently because those highs were a thing of the past. They’re all still mine. They’re my hardships to process and my highs to take pride in. The things I’ve done and experienced and who I am today are not two separate entities. The work I’ve done and continue to do is standing tall as the proud owner of it all.
The Ghost of Life Yet To Come
Well, that’s just it. “Yet to come”. Not “will never come”. Or “perhaps if I’m really lucky, might come”. The things you desire and intend to work hard for and manifest in your life will come, they just haven’t yet. Realizing this and believing it to be true provided my soul a great sense of relief. It’s normal to worry that you won’t get what you want or need. It’s normal to fear the unknown and what if’s. But it can be paralyzing or can propel you around a hamster wheel at lightning speed. I speak from experience because it did both to me. Neither of which is healthy or happiness-inducing! The most effective way of ensuring the things you desire come to fruition is knowing that they’re already yours, they just haven’t happened yet. Now, I’m not saying it’s all going to look exactly the way you picture it in your head today but it will happen because it’s already written, it’s just yet to come. I’ve watched this happen in big ways several times in my life so I have no reason to believe this is untrue. I’ve shared some stories of how manifestation has worked for me in this YT video, if you want to hear me get specific!
How To Be Present, Stay Present, and Enjoy it
- Make peace with your past – Own your hardships and the fact that you did the damn thing and survived them! Own your highs and take pride in them because that shit was all you and still is, baby!
- Find clarity on your past… and your future in the process – By looking back and unpacking the burdens of your past with specificity, you will gain insight into what you truly desire in your future. Getting clear on the essence of the big picture collage of your future life will be important for the next step!
- Accept the future you desire as your own – I’m no fortune teller but I’m 100% confident it’s already yours so long as you’re committed to doing the work required to attain whatever it may be!
- Start as you mean to go on – Every day is a new day and that means a new opportunity to reset the trajectory of your life ahead. Don’t expect your future dreams and goals to happen overnight. Those dreams require you to show up and it doesn’t have to be in a big way every single day. Simply make the effort to intentionally start as you mean to go on every day. It all adds up.
- Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude – We hear that word a lot and that’s because it’s important and it works! The law of attraction is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into your life. I’ve seen it in my own way too many times to count and I’m sure you have, too. Positivity starts with gratitude.
If 2021 is your year to be more present, positive and full of gratitude, I’ve created a 12-day program that can help! It’s completely free and will show up in your inbox every day. It only takes a few minutes and can make a world of difference when it comes to the quality of your life. If you’re ready to Go Your Own Way, you can sign up here. Let’s take this year to change our outlook, make more memories and really work to become present.
Shenae Grimes-Beech is an actor and YouTuber with a highly engaged community of like-minded women who are here to stand up for what they believe in and lean into discomfort, especially when it means doing the right thing.