June 15, 2021

SHENAE GRIMES-BEECH

AM I READY FOR THIS BABY?

Reading:

Full disclosure, I’m pretty sure the answer to the title of this blog post is a hard no.

In no way do I feel remotely ready for this baby to arrive. I know I have a couple of months left to prepare, but the weeks are flying by and realistically, he could decide to come well before his due date! I have enough hand-me-down gear and clothes from my first born to make it work and a trip to Target for anything forgotten is certainly not the end of the world, but mentally, I’m just not there.

With my first kid, my focus was 100% dedicated to becoming a mom. I was in it. Full-blown nesting mode, in the feels of my pregnancy trials and tribulations, taking all the photos, reading all the books, buying all the things. This time, my focus has been 100% elsewhere.

I’ve been hustling hard on the work front, building new relationships so we have a village to lean on and levelling Bowie up to big girl status. Now that I’m saying it all out loud, I suppose I have actually been pouring myself into all of the above in preparation for his arrival, in a way. It just looks and feels very different this time. The idea of heading into newborn territory again as a mom of two is overwhelming AF. The exhaustion will be amplified, the fleeting minutes in a day will be all the more fleeting, the multi-tasking will be multiplied beyond my comprehension …fuck me. Can I handle this?!

…I haven’t given it much thought, to be honest.

Earning enough money in the first half of this year to sustain us, having friends in this new town that we trust to help us out and ensuring Bowie is flourishing in her independence isn’t the vast collection of bottles and books and cute onesies I spent my first pregnancy collecting. But, it’s what I’ve needed to ease my racing mind. Instead of collecting products, (half of which inevitably go unused anyway!) I’ve collected a cushion of dollars, friendships, learning curves and memories with my daughter that I pray will catch us when we dive into the chaos of baby #2. Because yes, I’m well aware that chaos lies ahead. These things have given me a sense of peace that we may actually be able to mentally withstand those first few months without completely falling apart.

Look at that. Maybe I’m more ready than I thought I was.

My toddler, Bowie, is in pre-school which, after 18 months of no family visits or childcare, has been a saving grace. That gives us 12 uninterrupted hours a week to bond with the baby (and hopefully rest!) that I know will be invaluable to us. She’s now also completely potty trained and has extracurricular activities and friends to keep her busy and stimulated the way she deserves to be, while I navigate mom-of-two-ing my way through life. I’m so freaking proud of this incredible kid, man. She has grown up leaps and bounds over the past couple of months and is absolutely thriving because of it. And just in time to become a big sister! The powers that be have been on our side, that’s for sure!

Work has been busier than ever as I continue to grow my YouTube channel and attempt to get multiple businesses off the ground to diversify my income. 2020 was a hard year for me professionally, as it was for so many, so truly I couldn’t be more grateful for the timing of things picking up. I am a worrier by nature and have had a career in notoriously fickle industries for my entire life, so I’m savoring this stride of stability. I’ve learned so much and now that I have successfully made digital content creation my full-time gig, I want to share everything I know with others who are eager to pursue the same lifestyle. If that sounds like you, make sure you stay tuned for some big announcements I have coming up!

Finding out we were pregnant just two months after leaving our life behind and moving across the country was terrifying! We had no access to family, because of the pandemic and barely knew anyone in town. Once again, the universe must have been smiling on us, because these past few months, we have built incredible relationships with some of the most beautiful souls out here. We now have a little village that I love so dearly and know will be there for us to lean on, should we need their support once this baby arrives. How freaking lucky are we?!

In conclusion, maybe my answer to the title of this post is hell yes, after all!

While no, I still don’t have a collection of bottles, books and cute onesies to make me feel prepared for this new chapter of life, I think what I’ve got may just be a thousand times better.

Let’s do this!!!

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Since Bowie was born I've been more motivated than ever to show up as the best version of me and also share the experiences of those who have a new perspective to share that could make us all better people. So with that, here's a space for you to learn, explore, and sit beside me as I navigate this world through this new lens. 

Content Creator. Mama to Bowie. Wife to Josh. Straight Talker. DIY'er. You may also know me from my roles in 90210 and Degrassi. 

Motherhood does a great job at putting a mirror up to you in the form of a child and because of that I've found myself gravitating toward spaces where I can learn and evolve as a person.

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