July 6, 2016

SHENAE GRIMES-BEECH

WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS

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You don’t have to be a royal or a teen to wear short shorts but you do need to embrace that not every pair is flattering on the average womanly figure.  My summer uniform consists mainly of short denim shorts and I own them in a wide variety but upon revisiting my summer wardrobe this year, I realized it was due time to make some revisions.  My husband gave me some good wardrobe advice recently that keeps ringing in my head… “If you shouldn’t wear it, get rid of it because if it’s in there, you will wear it.” Truer words have never been spoken, my babe.  There are just some denim shorts that are cute in theory but do not look cute on and therefore should not be worn.  Ladies, it’s time to overhaul our current denim caches and find some flattering additions. Here are some tips to keep in mind when seeking out denim short shorts this summer, which I discovered firsthand when assessing some staples from my own personal collection!  FYI I love each and every one of these pairs of shorts so the following commentary has no reflection on that fact.  I’m simply breaking down areas of focus on how to flatter your body when shopping for denim shorts from all of the rad and affordable brands out there in the future!

80s Cuffed & High-Waisted Blue Denim

NAY: Because there is such thing as too short even when you’re talking about short shorts and this, my friends, is what it looks like.  The front cuffs sit about an inch too high on the thigh creating little muffin tops on your legs and from the back, well, your ass is literally out.  I’m all for rocking what your mama gave you and flaunting what you got when done in a tasteful way but nobody needs to see those kinda cheeks.

YAY: Because this cuff hits right where you want it, low enough in the front to give your thighs a slimmer appearance and low enough in the rear to keep it PG whilst achieving Daisy Duke perfection.

Rock and Roll Distressed Black Denim

NAY: Because the waist is slightly too tight thus cinching you at the waistline and ballooning the thick denim fabric just below, giving the appearance of a larger food baby area than you actually have.  The too-tight waistline also pulls your inseam right up there with no give so you end up with a wedgie in the front and the back. It doesn’t look great and frankly, it hurts. Lastly, the wash is more faded in the tush and the hips, drawing unwanted attention to typical problem areas.

YAY: The waist sits comfortably high but is loose enough to give you a little wiggle room as you strut your stuff and the fabric is tight enough to flatter your booty but loose enough to stay out of it, if you know what I mean.  The wash is also evenly distressed so it looks cool without drawing attention to the wrong areas.

Boyfriend Fit Blue Denim

NAY: Because the waist doesn’t fit so the front of the waistline sags low, accentuating the under-belly-button area that no woman wants accentuated and the backside is so baggy that any hint of a booty you have is completely flattened by the air between your tush and the fabric.

YAY: Because the waisted sits just an inch under your belly button keep your food baby under wraps and they’re just the right amount of baggy but cuffed on the legs to keep your shape in tact.

In summary, watch out for camel toes, wedgies, rogue buttcheeks, disappearing buttcheeks, muffin tops of the waist or thigh variety and unflattering fades and washes.  It sounds like a long checklist you’ll feel so much more confident wearing the ones that make the cut knowing all of these pesky unflattering components are at bay.

Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts! And with these tips, we’ll look damn good in ’em!

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Since Bowie was born I've been more motivated than ever to show up as the best version of me and also share the experiences of those who have a new perspective to share that could make us all better people. So with that, here's a space for you to learn, explore, and sit beside me as I navigate this world through this new lens. 

Content Creator. Mama to Bowie. Wife to Josh. Straight Talker. DIY'er. You may also know me from my roles in 90210 and Degrassi. 

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